Ladies, does this sound familiar?
- Your partner privately denigrates you after just treating you affectionately and appreciatively in public.
- Your partner expects you to automatically know and meet his needs and dismisses you when you don't.
- Your partner manipulates you to get his way and punishes you or makes you feel guilty for turning him down.
- Trying to please your partner is thankless and leaves you feeling drained from unpredictable tantrums, false
accusations, or criticisms.
VIP Women's Life Coaching is dedicated to show that women in toxic relationships have been given their
Validation as Vessels by God to
Inspire and Instill Integrity in women through their
Privileged Partnership with God to Pursue and Persist in His Purpose and Promise for each so as to reach their Potential
(Genesis 28:15). Once recognized and realized, each woman will break free from the control of a narcissist.
VIP Women's Life Coaching offers life coaching in English and Spanish to women in narcissistic, toxic relationships. Why only women? Because I have been where you are. I know there are many men who suffer through these types of relationships, and my prayer is that they may be able to glean some gems from this site and be healed and restored as well. Woman to woman, I understand the feelings of frustration and entrapment when faced with rage, false accusations, and even adultery. I know how you feel when you cry out to God asking, "Why? How can I fix this? Why does he treat me this way? What have I done to deserve this?" I too have cried out and cried within. I too have swallowed buckets of tears. But this labor of love was created to let you know,
1. You are not crazy, no matter how he may try to make you feel that way,
2. You are not alone. There are many worldwide in your shoes suffering and may be feeling no one
notices or cares, and most importantly,
3. You CAN be free of this and regain yourself again!
Now, when I mention freedom, I am not saying that every woman should leave her man or husband. That is a decision between you and God. But if you do choose to stay, there are ways you can heal and be free. This is what VIP Women's Life Coaching does. God's Spirit helps you become yourself again!
I also want to make clear that any of what I say or do on any platform of VIP Women's Life Coaching is in no way meant to be perceived as male-bashing. On the contrary, I pray for those who are victim to this behavior - and yes, I did say victim. In this program, I discuss the research findings for narcissism and the results may surprise you. You too may begin to see them as victims after seeing these results for yourself.
VIP Women's Life Coaching knows what it is like to feel unappreciated, unloved, and stuck in a toxic relationship. I also know that each woman's circumstance does not define who she is, and therefore seek to help her know her value and beauty through God's eyes. I offer a complete coaching program to women in narcissistic relationships so she can
be empowered by God's Spirit to become who she is purposed to be in and for His Kingdom. I do this through the following methods:
Many women in this situation do not even realize they are dealing with narcissists and just continue to make excuses for his bad behavior and suffer the repercussions. Therefore, the first thing addressed is what narcissism is and its affiliates and components, such as:
- Biological, Genetic, Social, and Psychological factors of Narcissism
- Emotional Intelligence
- How to recognize signs of narcissism, gaslighting, and emotional intelligence (and lack of)
This is the heart of the program and where the transformation begins! Each week we will be fully engaging in and
incorporating each of the following:
- How to effectively understand yourself and handle the abuser by utilizing a 5-step program honing in on thoughts, emotions, and actions to obtain your desired outcome and therefore regain control, self-worth, confidence, and freedom
- Incorporating Godly principles in each step to see your value and purpose in God's Kingdom through His eyes
Here's a brief outline of each step:
The first step involves an in-depth description of what narcissism is, along with explaining the extreme possibility of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Gaslighting and lack of emotional intelligence are also explored.
This educational component also involves interaction with the client/group by addressing and acknowledging the symptoms of the narcissist. I will also address why many women stay in these abusive relationships.
The next step addresses what comes to mind when going through a particular narcissist incident. We will discuss how the negative feedback from the abuser impacts the victim through interactively acknowledging the client's/group's experiences and what they believe about themselves. Other dangerously abusive entities will be touched on as a comparison to show the severity of extreme narcissism.
After reviewing how the narcissist views the abused, we will dive into how God views each abused one through the reading and discussion of several Scriptures. The verses to be discussed will reveal how our Father cares for His children, does not want us to be anxious, and gives us a future and a hope by not leaving us, among others. We will also explore His call to action with several verses and show how these verses should alter what we think about ourselves.
Another component of this second step that will be discussed is time management, but again from God's perspective, specifically us giving Him control and He giving us grace, empowerment, and courage.
The third step explored are our emotions, specifically how the abuser's actions negatively affect how we feel about ourselves. We will define and explore emotional intelligence and determine if the narcissist possesses this quality. Finally, we will discuss what God-given power would look like through an in-depth Scriptural discussion of hope, peace, joy, and integrity.
Step four addresses action. We should start to see how aligning our thoughts and feelings with God's would in turn affect our actions. This involves analyzing and acknowledging negative actions, such as buffering, and how these can be replaced by positive actions. We will thoroughly go over a Godly plan of action by discussing the actions of prophets of old. We will also begin to explore how God's call to action for each of us involves His purpose for us. This will be reinforced by Scriptural references.
The final step involves our desired outcome, not only through our relationship with others but also with ourselves so we can become stronger individuals. We will discuss the results we can expect by following a positive-based model, to include being realistic about the situation each woman lives with, focusing on setting goals for herself, having a positive support system in place, and setting healthy boundaries. These would apply whether each woman decides to leave or stay in her relationship.
Another important part of this final step addresses unconditional love and forgiveness. It will be stressed that this does not mean condoning the abuser's actions, but rather as a release for each woman so as to see each person through God's eyes. By carefully analyzing forgiveness, mercy, and even gratitude from a Scriptural viewpoint, each woman will be able to see how she can overcome and become victorious!
As a free bonus, all clients can choose to receive the following:
- Academic Coaching
When feelings of neglect and worthlessness set in, many women wind up neglecting themselves in their own personal pursuits and goals. Their educational aspirations many times fall by the wayside and they focus all their efforts and attention on pleasing the narcissist.
VIP Women's Life Coaching recognizes the importance of each woman achieving her goals, which may include starting or returning to school. I therefore offer a personalized complimentary academic evaluation where we will look at your aspirations and find the best educational program that fits your financial and situational needs, be it in the traditional classroom, online, or a combination of both. This includes evaluating any transcripts you may have for potential transfer credit and looking for financial aid avenues through grants, scholarships and loans.
- Job Coaching
Since so much time is spent taking care of (or being controlled by) the narcissist, women may not have the
opportunity to find employment, or at least the employment she would like to have. Many find themselves in dead-end jobs earning way below their potential.
VIP Women's Life Coaching wants to make sure each woman that uses this program be as marketable as possible. So as a second bonus, we and our affiliates would like to offer personalized complimentary job coaching, which include skills and interests assessments, cover letter and resume building, interview skills, professional dress, communication and work ethic, and resources for housing, food and transportation.
"Vivian is a great coach who presents life lessons in a warm and relatable way. It's like talking to your best friend. It's evident that she's truly passionate about helping women reach their potential and provides the motivation and skills needed for success. She's absolutely encouraging!" - V.R.
"You're doing such a phenomenal and necessary work." - V.M.
"I pray God will bring you many hurting ladies to reach out to. He is so good to bless us with women like you to serve in this tough field of work. Thanks for your service, my friend." - B.H.
In addition to individual and small group life coaching in person, via phone or Skype, we can come to your church, high school, university, or place of business for presentations or full workshops. We are available locally, nationally, and internationally. Please contact us and we will be happy to work out scheduling and pricing to accommodate your needs.